diatribe against a moth

To pay tribute to the impending two seasons of moth reincarnation, I’ve written a little monologue, or moth-ologue for lack of better terminology. Call me mad or ludicrous; for this I know. A phobia is an irrational fear.

Diatribe Against a Moth

We can’t do this anymore; I hope you know that. We’re no longer healthy for one another, unless thriving on fear is a newfound blessing. Here’s the problem—you don’t belong here—never have. It’s my personal opinion that you belong on the moon, but your movements are too blind and haphazard to ever achieve such a journey. You must maintain your distance, as do I. Though, you’re sneaky, conniving, and even somewhat graceful as you weave your way through the sheer curtain folds and quilted squares of my crimson red comforter. You blend too well. Your stagnancy forces an adrenaline-induced determination into me; your activity paralyzes me with a child-like terror. What exactly do you want from me?

Wouldn’t it be nice to wipe out these awkward, winged things in one fell swoop? It would be my dream come true. But, we all must learn to cope with what is in this life, I suppose. I’ll try to remember this bit of wisdom:

“Fear is an acronym in the English language for ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’.”   ~Neale Donald Walsch

Published in: on March 30, 2010 at 8:19 pm  Leave a Comment  

it’s perfectly acceptable to…

-bump into a pole, sign, or any other inanimate object and say, “oops, sorry!”

-show emotion at work when there seems to be absolutely nowhere else to place your feelings. Being told otherwise is like asking someone to take a break from being human.

-leave for a 3 PM sanity walk and breath of fresh air without letting everyone know of your whereabouts.

-wear Tweety pajamas from morning to night on weekends.

-change your story slightly with an innocent white lie.

-cut ties with someone if they’re not worth your time investment.

-want to go a day or two, or even three, without having to think about anything beyond the scope of a day.

-abandon technology to gain peace of mind.

-not want to work for awhile, even in a bad economy.

-want time to yourself without having to justify it to others. They’ll understand, and if they don’t, confront them gently later when you’re ready.

-NOT drink the Kool-Aid

-wear flip-flops in 40-degree weather.

-eat more than a guy.

-listen to someone’s story and have absolutely nothing to offer them but your ears and companionship.

-have 5 zillion dreams at once.

-read two books at once, with a different chair/location reserved for each.

-abstain from political conversation.

-feign sickness once in awhile when you don’t feel like facing the day.

-go commando.

-let others know when their negativity begins to effect you.

-not always know the difference between “affect” and “effect”

-hypenate an adverbial phrase, a continually-committed mistake.

-be an english major and admit to the two above.

-escribir puestos en otro idioma aunque la mayoria no entienda.

-scrivere nelle altre lingue perche non capiscono nessuno.

-go to bed at 10:09 PM.

Published in: on March 29, 2010 at 2:10 am  Leave a Comment  


The cat cries for something intangible. It’s not food, water, her favorite Pounce Tartar Control treats, or even a free cuddle.  So, what ails her? Hell if I know. She’s trying my last nerve. Patience, I must have patience. Oree is merely a child despite her elderly age in feline years. In reality, I think her litter box needs a good dumping, but that’s not a chore I want to face until tomorrow. So I lay awake, allowing her enough time to dispose of her waste or meow her frustrations outdoors, until I break down and let her in. Guaranteed, she’ll cry throughout the night. Lack of sleep leads to delusional things. This could be dangerous, since I plan on doing a great deal of rollerblading tomorrow.

With my insomnia, my wanderlust bites and nags. I want to go places. See things. Meet people and engage in big talk (small talk doesn’t interest me). I’m a pretty well-traveled adult, but it’s never enough. There’s too much out there. I must explore.

And with that, my brain goes into dormant mode.

Published in: on March 27, 2010 at 4:51 am  Leave a Comment  

what’s real these days?

Another post inspired by Tiny Buddha….Perhaps I’ll submit this one a little down the road.

It’s easy to drown in the sea of day-to-day things. How can we not when we’re bombarded by technology, social networks, phone calls, and talk of economic and political reform from just about every angle? It’s almost as if catching a breath of air, and not a forced one that requires hyperventilating or justification, has been put on the back burner. Planet Earth turns and embraces us in its rotation. Even though Earth claims to offer us all the freedom, oxygen, and human interaction we could ever want, it never seems enough. The world, as we know it, is constantly evolving before our eyes. How are we to keep up? MUST we keep up if it means losing sight of the simplicities we cherish? Sadly, some of us become so immersed in everyone and everything with a sense of urgency and expediency, we become human automatons, robotic “beings” executing tasks on our “to-do” lists.

Stop and breathe; every breath of air is a well-earned one no matter who you are. As a human being, it is your right to unwind and take a break from the numbers, bills, texts, tweets, status updates, phone calls, and the mesmerizing touch-screen wonderland. It is your right, and never too late, to allow yourself to experience and enjoy simple pleasures that are nothing but real.

So, what’s real these days? Consider the following simplicities

1-Create something. Everyone is an artist, whether visually, with words, or even numbers. Take what you know and put your mind to it. Better yet, share your creation with someone. A personal touch can brighten someone’s day.

2-Ask genuinely. Ask a friend, partner, or colleague, “How are you today?” and mean it wholeheartedly. How? Look them in the eye, even if it seems uncomfortable, and let them know you’re taking the time to care.

3-Be a giver. Perhaps you’re excited about the way an experimental recipe of yours turned out. Bring a dish to work to share with a co-worker without expecting any compensation. Or, drop a surprise cookie on someone’s desk when they’re on a break. People enjoy unexpected indulgences.

4-Hand-write someone a haiku. It’s not rocket science or elitist literature. Just follow the 5/7/5 rule and write something that’s meaningful to you and/or the person for whom it’s intended.

5-Open up. Let someone listen to your story. In person. You never know what insights can be gained.

6-Resurrect a hobby. Break out that old, dusty pair of rollerblades from 1995 and hit the pavement at full speed (just be careful and make sure you pad up those knees, elbows, and that head of yours). Or, build houses out of popsicle sticks and Elmer’s Glue. Pay no mind to those who tell you you’re too old. Live young.

7-Snail mail. It’s not convenient; it’s not supposed to be. That’s the point. Put some thought into a card or hand-written letter and mail it off with a good, old-fashioned Forever stamp. It’ll get there when it gets there and the recipient will love opening it.

8-Switch off. Shut down your laptop and cell phone one warm-weathered Saturday afternoon and enjoy the day unfold. Try not to be afraid of what you’re missing. The world will go on, and you will, too.

9-Read a book. A real, paper book with pages that can be turned by your very own finger tips! Take a pencil, mark it up, circle your favorite excerpts or draw hearts around your favorite characters’ names. Just take a break from the Kindle or any other touch-enabled tablet.

10-Jot it down. What have you learned today? “Nothing” is not an answer. Every day, you have the chance to learn and explore new things. Did you learn that a moth lands differently than a butterfly? Write it down! Did you discover a new hiking trail in your hometown? Make note of that, too! Discoveries help to shape the human experience.

Remember, in a world evolving exponentially, you are what’s real.

Published in: on March 24, 2010 at 2:23 am  Leave a Comment  

rollerblade resurrection

Sometimes, acting on a whim works in your favor. Take today, for instance. Out of nowhere, except maybe a bit of childhood  nostalgia, I decided to bring back an extreme sport now dead to suburban man: rollerblading. I ventured to my local Sports Authority and bought a pair of K2’s; surprisingly, they were reasonably priced. I fell victim to the ‘blading craze of the 90’s, rolling (no, not on Ecstacy) wherever my teenage legs would take me, and I loved every minute of it. Funny enough, I can’t recall exactly how, when, or why I stopped. I suppose the blades and I just grew apart?

In any event, I’ve got to say that these are some hot wheels. Black with white vector-like art on the velcro straps, and a little pink breast cancer ribbon. Good quality to boot. I’m totally satisfied with this purchase. I’ve put a few miles on my wheels so far and plan on practicing during the warmer months. Hell, I’m even thinking about entering as “fresh meat” (newcomer) in a roller derby just for the hell of it. Why not, right? First, I need a name. Rule: it has to be slightly permiscuous or suggestive, i.e. Betty Bladelicker but not that.

Before I get too ahead of myself, let me just say that resurrecting an old hobby is a gratifying experience. Sure, it’s a little step in the overall scheme of things, but that’s sort of the point. As the cliche preaches, it’s the little things. While skating away under the sunshine in an elementary school parking lot, I came across a little girl on a bike. She smiled, in awe of what adorned my feet, possibly in hopes that she, too, would someday own a pair. I told her she was doing an awesome job on the bike. She waved and smiled every time I bladed past her. Even though I miss being a chid, innocent and optimistic of all my surroundings, I also love living vicariously through children in my adulthood. It seems small, but I hadn’t experienced a simple joy like this in years. It took a whimsical decision to achieve that.

When it seems right, listen to your whim, people. Don’t dismiss it or you may miss out.

Published in: on March 22, 2010 at 1:49 am  Leave a Comment  

a word on inspiration

I think I’ve got it- another idea for a short story. Hopefully this one will be promising and not dwindling like the others as of late. (Seems as if I’m not one to write about relationships gone sour.) Remembering childhood’s bittersweet past, one prominent figure I cannot forget is Ms. McIntyre, my quirky, fundamentalist Catechism teacher. Ironically, she was the one who steered me away from Catholicism, the religion I was convinced I was born into until death do me part.  Beliefs should not be based on fear. She epitomized fear. Because of her, I did something I will never forget. The memory of it is branded.

Stay tuned for further creative developments. I feel some non-fiction brewing. I’d love to spend the bulk of one day at Borders cranking away. In order to be a good writer, one must write, and this is what I need to do.

Published in: on March 10, 2010 at 10:40 pm  Leave a Comment